Realizations
by soccergoddess8
Summary: Ginny recognizes her feelings for her best friend...but will she share?


Realizations

Chapter 1: Another Beginning's End

Ginny could not help but smile as she walked down the corridor toward the library. She knew she probably should not be smiling at the moment, she had just dumped Dean after all. She could not help it though. She had finally made a decision about her feelings. She knew she never fancied Dean, but it seemed the perfect way to push aside the feelings she was having for her friend. This plan had worked for a while, but Ginny and Hermione had spent a lot of time together over the past couple of years, and as a result had grown very close. Dean had not had a problem with Ginny's divided attentions at first. Life at Hogwarts was very busy, especially with Ginny playing quidditch and spending many hours studying.

Ginny began to feel a bit guilty for not spending more time with Dean, choosing to study most of the time instead. As a result of her guilt she started spending more time with Dean, but by then he was already beginning to get annoyed by Ginny spending more time being tutored than with him. Ginny had attempted to make up for the lack of attention by pleasing Dean sexually. It sickened her still to think of it, knowing her guilty conscience and desire to be 'normal' were her only reasons for jumping head first into something she was clearly not ready for. Now he is and would always be her 'first'. The relationship had been strained since that point and had recently reached its breaking point.

Dean had found out she had always had top marks in every subject and thought her being 'tutored' was merely an excuse to spend time away with him. He had confronted her about it this afternoon, and to his complete horror, she told him this was the reason. Ginny was not completely truthful with Dean. True, the tutoring was in part to get away from Dean, well, not only Dean, but everyone. The true motive for her tutoring sessions was only to spend time alone with Hermione. She figured it was the only way she could spend a significant amount of time alone with the older girl. Ginny felt she needed to break things off with Dean. It was only fair to him and she would never be able to properly sort her true feelings about Hermione with him always breathing down her neck.

Her decision had been made. She had left Dean and wanted to tell Hermione how she had been feeling. She had done the easy part, so to speak, now for the bit more difficult part… telling Hermione.

Ginny's smile began to fade and her heart jumped as she walked into the library and saw Hermione reading over some notes, waiting for Ginny. She suddenly began to get very nervous as Hermione looked up from her notes. She could feel the blood run to her face, turning it a red to rival her hair, and sweat beginning to drip down her back. To top things off, she was nearly positive people could hear her heart rapidly beating and would soon be staring at her.

"Are you alright Ginny?" Hermione asked looking concerned. "Maybe you should have a seat."

"Erm… no… I'm going to go lay down for a bit." Ginny replied turning quickly on her heel and leaving the library. She could feel her ears burning. 'Okay, not tonight' Ginny thought to herself as she walked quickly down the corridor. She made her way to the Gryffindor common room hoping there were not too many people in there, not wishing to speak to anyone. 'Breathe' she had to remind herself before giving the Fat Lady the password and climbing through the portrait hole.

To Ginny's relief there was only a small group of second years at a table in the common room that seemed to be absorbed in a Potions paper. She walked straight to the dormitory, happy no one was in there either. She silently slumped into her bed and closed the curtains.

An hour later Ginny pulled herself out of bed. She had somehow managed to dose and woke up feeling as thought she had some very strange dream, but could no longer remember it. She reluctantly got off her bed to go down for dinner, knowing she would regret it later if she did not go. She ran, quite literally, into Hermione who was making her way up the winding staircase.

"Ummm… hey Hermione." Ginny said immediately looking toward her feet as she could feel the heat rising in her face.

Hermione reached and took a gentle hold of Ginny's arm. "I just wanted to make sure you were alright." She stated simply, stooping her head down trying to get a glimpse of Ginny's face.

"Yeah, I was just feeling a bit… stressed." Ginny replied unconvincingly.

Ginny's breath hitched and her heart threatened to leap out of her chest as Hermione's other hand found its way to her chin and lifted her head. Hermione searched Ginny's face and looked into her eyes, knowing the younger girl was not telling the truth. Ginny glanced sideways, avoiding Hermione's eyes, afraid she would be able to see the desire bubbling beneath the surface.

"Ginny, I know you may not want to talk about whatever is bothering you right now, but I want you to know I am here for you when you are ready. I will always be here for you." Hermione said softly as she slid her hand down Ginny's neck to her shoulder.

A tear burned its way down Ginny's cheek, if only Hermione knew. Would she still 'be there' for her? Se knew Hermione was very open minded and accepting, but would she feel the same if she knew she herself was the object of Ginny's desire?

Ginny took Hermione's silent lead and followed her down the winding staircase. Both knew the truth would come out when it was ready, but what would the consequences be? All Ginny wanted to focus on at the moment was getting some food down; she knew it would be a difficult, but necessary task. Hermione, still a bit worried about her dearest friend, decided to let it go until Ginny was ready. She fought hard to keep her feelings out of things, Ginny clearly did not need any more complications in her life at present, but she did not know how much longer she could keep it up.


End file.
